Om. I revere MahaKali, who holds in her hands the sword, discus, mace, arrow, bow, club, spear, sling, human head, and conch; who is three-eyed, adorned on all her limbs, and sparkling like a sapphire; who has ten faces and ten feet; and whom Brahma extolled while Visnhu slept in order to slay Madhu and Kaitabha. (In Praise of the Goddess. The DeviMahatmya and Its Meaning by Devadatta Kali)
Today, Friday October 12th begins the Durga Puja. Although technically, in California we should have begun our worship on Thursday morning, since it was the first dawn after the new moon. Local yoga studios and ashrams seem to be coordinating their puja schedule with the South Asian dates, so I am willing to let go of this technicality and surrender to the truth of time being truly irrelevant. After all, Durga Kali, who is worshiped these first three days, is beyond time and space.
There is another difference in the puja practices here that my mind has had to come to terms with. In Kathmandu the first three days are acknowledged as Saraswati's days and the Goddess of Creativity, Learning, Poetry, Music and the Arts is worshiped on these first three days. But here (and in some parts of India and Nepal) it is KALI who is worshiped first (and Saraswati is worshiped the last three days). This year beginning these rituals with the fierce Mother feels in alignment with my own needs. It is during these days that I am offering all my negative tendencies, all my inhibiting karmas and preparing the ground of my being for the Goddess energies that are to come. A different approach to Her, Durga, who is often described as being inapproachable. This alternative approach is not right or wrong, merely a shift in perspective. Yes, that is something I need to invite in my life right now as I see how my thinking and some of my judgments have become stuck and are limiting me.
I have not participated in Durga puja in the US in any formal way, so the fact that daily pujas are being held at 7:00 a.m. every day during this ten day ritual period only five blocks from my home (and performed by priestesses!) feels like a tremendous blessing and invitation. An invitation to what? To entering a realm of Goddess consciousness, to experiencing a vibratory level of being in a group setting in the west. I have shied away from groups for various reasons. I have lived my life as an independent yogini for years. I have found my Matrika kula, my intimate clan group of Shaktas, but we dance in and out of each other's lives. Our devotion, although deeply shared, is often expressed through personal rather than communal experience. And my relationship to the land in South Asia defined my connection to Her. For years I felt the electrifying Shakti at the thousand-year old sites of worship that I visited in India and Nepal. I would return to the States feeling fragmented, disconnected, no longer tuned in as fully as I had been in Asia. Sometimes I would access Her realm at my altar, alone, or with my teacher, Nandu, but rarely out in the western world.
In Tantra our bodies, our being is a reflection or aspect of the macro-cosmic whole. I want to really know that HERE in my home town. If Devi is everywhere, then we should not have to travel to India or Nepal just to get those Shakti jolts. For years I have been frustrated, angry and depressed by how maligned, feared, marginalized the Divine Mother is here in the west. I have loved traveling abroad and witnessing the millions who love and adore Her. But it seems that with the beginning of this Durga puja She is revealing that there are more of us here in the west that worship Her fierceness and Her grace than I realized. She has come to us here in the west because we have called Her to us. We know She has much to teach us about justice, equality, peace and inner strength. Although I may continue to maintain my independent path of worship after this puja period, a part of me keeps thinking how I may not be as alone as I often feel and think I am. She is here. Outside of my shrine room, within myself and in every other devotee at the puja. In every tree, cat and stone.
Durga, whose name means fortress, is the Invincible One. She is unconquerable, indomitable, and fearless. In Her manifestation as MahaKali, She destroys our delusions, She pierces through the veils of our ignorance, She annihilates our arrogance. She frees us from our pain. Her eight to eighteen arms carry the tools and weapons we need to approach any conflict and challenge in our life with conviction and composure. She teaches us to enter life's struggles without losing our center. She reminds us that we are all embodiments of Her. I do not want to forget this, and yet it is a teaching that continues to unfold for me.
"I meditate upon the three-eyed Goddess, Durga, Reliever of Difficulties; the luster of Her beautiful body is like lightening. She sits upon the shoulders of a lion and appears very fierce. Many maidens (Matrikas or Mother Goddesses) holding the double-edged sword and shield in their hands are standing at readiness to serve Her. She holds in Her hands discus, club, double-edged sword, shield, arrow, bow, net and the mudra connecting the thumb and the pointer finger, with the other three fingers extended upwards, indicating the granting of wisdom. Her intrinsic nature is as fire, and upon her head She wears the moon as a crown."
(Chandi Path by Swami Satyananda Saraswati)
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